(no subject)

went to treatment in late october for 30 days, stopped drinking and started eating more again, i miss being under 100 lbs but i feel better.

my eyes turn yellow every time i drink, my liver hates me, so i'm trying not to.

i need to move ASAP because being here just isn't cutting it even with my IOP, but right now my choices are california, houston, and toronto, and fuck even australia, but they're all so different i dont know what to do and i'm putting it off because any choice i make is going to hurt someone deeply.

i feel very very lonely. and useless. i do nothing productive.